Allomothering

While reading a Jodi Picoult book, I learned of allomothering. It is a widespread phenomenon among mammals and birds and is performed by any group member other than the genetic mother or father. Allomothering comprises a wide variety of behaviors for the sole purpose of caring for and protecting an infant.

Are we not all infants?

The story was about elephants allomothering, yet my mind went directly to all those in my life that have been allomothers to my children and to all those that have allomothered me. I've always heard the saying, "It takes a village..." which I believe, but I never had a word for the people of the "village" that have and continue to help me raise my daughters.

Have you ever sank to your knees and humbly asked that someone besides yourself could reach the heart of your child? To teach them through word, example or a random act of kindness? Have you had your prayers answered? I have... many times.

Recently, I did just that... sank to my knees. I couldn't seem to reach my child. I pleaded with my Heavenly Father. The next morning I received a text from a friend letting me know that thoughts of my daughter kept her awake at night and during her morning prayers she was prompted to reach out to her. Best part? She followed through on the prompting and touched my daughter's heart. Prayer answered.

A couple days later we came home to find a sealed envelope in our door. Our Bishop wrote her a letter and included a talk he thought she might like. I never read the letter, that's not my business. She read it, however, and then read out loud the talk to our family. It was perfect... just what she needed. Prayer answered.

I never asked the lady or the Bishop for help, but I did ask my Heavenly Father. Tonight I am grateful for those that live close to the spirit and that they act upon promptings. I am deeply grateful to those that have and continue to allomother/alloparent my children, all because of love. My cup runneth over.

Tree of Life

In Draper, Utah there is a large tree lit in white that sparkles on a cold winter's night. Old and young circle the tree, some singing carols while others talk among family and friends. The beauty of the tree captures the attention of all that surround it.

As our family stood beneath the tree, eyes upward, Brett asked our girls what they saw in the tree, beyond the lights and sparkles. They replied with large and small branches, branches growing from other branches, branches that were straight and others bent, branches that were intertwined with others, etc. I stood silently listening and thinking as our girls described what they saw.

Brett then took the girls descriptions and turned them to life's lessons. He said that each of us are like those branches. We come in different shapes and sizes, we grow in different ways and we take different paths. He emphasized that sometimes we stay on the straight and narrow and sometimes we make mistakes that take us down other paths. He also stated that throughout life we have different experiences and meet different people which intertwines our lives with theirs and helps form who we are. He also reminded us that if we step back and look at the tree as a whole, it's because of all of those branches, experiences and people that make the tree full and beautiful.

I stood there enjoying family time, processing the branches in my life and breathing in the winter's night air, when Brett reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small box. Our girls immediately retreated about twenty feet and the confused look on my faced matched my thoughts. As our girls started taking pictures and Brett got down on one knee, my heart and mind raced. What was he doing?! Then I listened carefully as he spoke and what he said will stay in my heart. Now a new diamond ring rests on my right hand while my original wedding ring stays on my left hand -- never replacing the other, just representing a new chapter in our lives. Just as the tree, our love continues to grow -- but only if we nourish it.